hi my name is lex..i have an addiction. i'm a dick..i'm addicted..to sleepies.
i don't view naps as a leisurely activity. i view them as a sport, a competition if you will. and we all know the goal of a competition: to win..by any means necessary (morals are out the window..kinda like politics). it started innocently enough: i would come back from a particularly grueling (read: starting before 10 a.m.) class, feel a bit drowsy, and decided a good remedy would be to catch a few quick zzzs to refresh and reenergize myself, hence warding off all unnecessary bitchiness for the remainder of the day. what started as a 20 minute jaunt now has the tendency to stretch into several hours..escalating from a mere "nap" to the more advanced (and illegal in 32 states, including connecticut) "snoozefest of death 2003." the sad part is that, no matter how hard i try, no matter how much sleep i get the night before, no matter if i have kicked the nyquil bottle to the curb, i cannot stop. someone please help me..for sleepies have taken over my existence. all messages can be relayed to the top bunk, both my accomplice and ultimate demise.
moving right along, i am not greek. i never was greek. most likely, there will never be any greek in me in my entire life (unless, of course, that tall dark fellow over there is a friend of socrates if yaknowwhatimsayin..). although this is a heritage that alludes me, it's still pretty damn fun to pretend. that being said, i can surely say that i can rock the toga like no other. move over zeus. sit yo' ass down aphrodite. there's a new goddess in town..and her name is ME..actually it's lex, but you get the idea (if you don't then you are real unsmart). my get-up was waaaaaay better than yours anyhow..and i don't even have magic powers. canyoudealwithTHAT? didn't think so..but bring it just the same. i'll be waiting..cardboard lightning bolt in hand.
so yeah..i turn 20 in six days. this rapidly approaching deadline has caused me to ponder one of life's most burning questions: are the days of watching spongebob in my underwear whilst eating a huge bowl of cinnamon toast crunch really numbered? i submit that they are NOT! if people expect me to act all grown-uppy just because i am out of the "teens" then they are sorely mistaken. i will not only reject that unwanted status, but i will revel in my childhood for as long as possible. revel with me, if you'd like. i'll tell you now though..try to take my my little ponies, especially the flutter ponies with the detachable iridescent wings, and you will be dining at the sandbox buffet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next few weeks. you thought i would go house on those mount olympus mofos? oh..you ain't seen nuthin' yet. the ties between a girl and her playthings last a lifetime. plus, you'll mess up their hair.
..reppin' mattel to the fullest,
lex
i don't view naps as a leisurely activity. i view them as a sport, a competition if you will. and we all know the goal of a competition: to win..by any means necessary (morals are out the window..kinda like politics). it started innocently enough: i would come back from a particularly grueling (read: starting before 10 a.m.) class, feel a bit drowsy, and decided a good remedy would be to catch a few quick zzzs to refresh and reenergize myself, hence warding off all unnecessary bitchiness for the remainder of the day. what started as a 20 minute jaunt now has the tendency to stretch into several hours..escalating from a mere "nap" to the more advanced (and illegal in 32 states, including connecticut) "snoozefest of death 2003." the sad part is that, no matter how hard i try, no matter how much sleep i get the night before, no matter if i have kicked the nyquil bottle to the curb, i cannot stop. someone please help me..for sleepies have taken over my existence. all messages can be relayed to the top bunk, both my accomplice and ultimate demise.
moving right along, i am not greek. i never was greek. most likely, there will never be any greek in me in my entire life (unless, of course, that tall dark fellow over there is a friend of socrates if yaknowwhatimsayin..). although this is a heritage that alludes me, it's still pretty damn fun to pretend. that being said, i can surely say that i can rock the toga like no other. move over zeus. sit yo' ass down aphrodite. there's a new goddess in town..and her name is ME..actually it's lex, but you get the idea (if you don't then you are real unsmart). my get-up was waaaaaay better than yours anyhow..and i don't even have magic powers. canyoudealwithTHAT? didn't think so..but bring it just the same. i'll be waiting..cardboard lightning bolt in hand.
so yeah..i turn 20 in six days. this rapidly approaching deadline has caused me to ponder one of life's most burning questions: are the days of watching spongebob in my underwear whilst eating a huge bowl of cinnamon toast crunch really numbered? i submit that they are NOT! if people expect me to act all grown-uppy just because i am out of the "teens" then they are sorely mistaken. i will not only reject that unwanted status, but i will revel in my childhood for as long as possible. revel with me, if you'd like. i'll tell you now though..try to take my my little ponies, especially the flutter ponies with the detachable iridescent wings, and you will be dining at the sandbox buffet for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for the next few weeks. you thought i would go house on those mount olympus mofos? oh..you ain't seen nuthin' yet. the ties between a girl and her playthings last a lifetime. plus, you'll mess up their hair.
..reppin' mattel to the fullest,
lex
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