i think i may just have to reinstate the big plastic bubble idea..because i just can't be left to my own devices for more than five minutes without bringing harm upon myself or others. for example: walking. putting one foot in front of the other at a slow to moderate pace meant to get a person from point A to point B..sometimes to point C for a quick snack or bathroom break (even though both should have been taken care of before leaving the house like moms said). it's a fairly easy task, yet i somehow manage to mess it up on a daily basis by trying to complete another task in the process. today, i left my room to grab a newspaper and take out the trash. after disposing of the garbage, i embarked on the 5 to 7 second walk back to my room when an exceptionally large headline caught my eye. i glanced down for one hot minute and BAM..the right side of my body got real intimate with a sweet (but not really my type) piece of wall. hell, i can jump rope and juggle several watermelons while spinning 18 plates on sticks and tap dance michael flatley style without breaking a sweat..but walking and reading? amateurs need not apply..cuz this is OBVIOUSLY only for the experts.
wincing in a mixture of pain and where-the-hell-did-that-wall-come-from, i gimped the rest of the way back to the room and closed the door, wondering when this seemingly endless bout of clumsiness began (maybe following that black cat under a ladder on a sidewalk covered in cracks last week wasn't the best idea..). apparently thinking and walking is something else that cannot successfully do, because at that very moment i slipped on a notebook and banged my right knee, the same knee that was still reeling from a chance encounter with a concrete wall several seconds prior, into my desk chair. i'm not even going to try walking and chewing gum at the same time. it just may prove fatal considering my current track record.
in the few minutes left in the day when i am not laid up because of my latest injury, i have been busy slaving away to my major (journalism if y'all haven't guessed by now). even though writing is something that i love to do (evidence: helloooOO blogger!) and am pretty damn good at (thankyouverymuch), it's definitely something that's going to put my already short temper to the test. for serious, being a journalist is like going on an episode of "blind date"..minus those nifty thought bubbles. at first, people are all excited to meet you, but as soon as they realize who you are and what your intentions could potentially be, the "date" quickly begins to resemble an episode of "cops:" dodging questions left and right and occasionally involving high-speed car chases and liberal use of mace. and then they have the nerve to say they will call you back..but NEVER DO. those little evasion tactics may have worked for you in the past..but not anymore. there's a new sheriff in town..and she's gonna take you down. i have a badge and everything yo.
..laying down the law (then needing medical attention after tripping over it),
lex
wincing in a mixture of pain and where-the-hell-did-that-wall-come-from, i gimped the rest of the way back to the room and closed the door, wondering when this seemingly endless bout of clumsiness began (maybe following that black cat under a ladder on a sidewalk covered in cracks last week wasn't the best idea..). apparently thinking and walking is something else that cannot successfully do, because at that very moment i slipped on a notebook and banged my right knee, the same knee that was still reeling from a chance encounter with a concrete wall several seconds prior, into my desk chair. i'm not even going to try walking and chewing gum at the same time. it just may prove fatal considering my current track record.
in the few minutes left in the day when i am not laid up because of my latest injury, i have been busy slaving away to my major (journalism if y'all haven't guessed by now). even though writing is something that i love to do (evidence: helloooOO blogger!) and am pretty damn good at (thankyouverymuch), it's definitely something that's going to put my already short temper to the test. for serious, being a journalist is like going on an episode of "blind date"..minus those nifty thought bubbles. at first, people are all excited to meet you, but as soon as they realize who you are and what your intentions could potentially be, the "date" quickly begins to resemble an episode of "cops:" dodging questions left and right and occasionally involving high-speed car chases and liberal use of mace. and then they have the nerve to say they will call you back..but NEVER DO. those little evasion tactics may have worked for you in the past..but not anymore. there's a new sheriff in town..and she's gonna take you down. i have a badge and everything yo.
..laying down the law (then needing medical attention after tripping over it),
lex