monday started out like any other day. i woke up a shade before noon (god bless the invention of the once a week night class), got scalded by my demonized shower, and walked around in my underoos for the better part of an hour whilst trying to plan out the rest of my day. despite the fact that it was about 4 pm at that point, there was still much to be done. tv and beer won't watch and drink themselves you know.
we students at uconn are not commonly referred to as a mild-mannered bunch. regardless of where you go to school, you know what x-lot is and that, despite the ick factor of the name, the rape trail is the path most travelled on campus. however, someone started spreading a rumor that uconn had lost its edge, a bunch of second-seed pansies, so we had no choice but to squelch the bejesus out of that falsity. and squelch we did.
at approximately 11:34 pm, after several hours of hardcore boozing and lighthearted commentary (big ups to alicia b and her zero bullshit tolerance), we ventured..ok stumbled..outdoors into celeron square to celebrate uconn's just-acquired national championship. this wasn't some quaint affair. we forewent the cheese and crackers for leaping flames and ritualistic chanting. little known fact: the main function of a couch is to be sacrificed to a victory blaze and a keystone light shower is almost as effective as its soapy cousin. also, school property makes excellent kindling and boys with tattoos and/or muscles will never miss an opportunity to deshirt. for those of you with cars on campus, i highly recommend you check their status..pronto.
if you don't go, you don't know..but fortunately i'm here to tell you: we party like we play ball..hard and to win. this, my friends, was clearly a huge W..evident from the glazed-over eyes and frequent whiffs of vomit courtesy of the 8 people who attended class the next morning.
..wondering why i have yet to be tapped to write promotional brochures,
lex
ps..the women won last night. woop woop..but you didn't have to be one of the psychic friends to predict that ish.
we students at uconn are not commonly referred to as a mild-mannered bunch. regardless of where you go to school, you know what x-lot is and that, despite the ick factor of the name, the rape trail is the path most travelled on campus. however, someone started spreading a rumor that uconn had lost its edge, a bunch of second-seed pansies, so we had no choice but to squelch the bejesus out of that falsity. and squelch we did.
at approximately 11:34 pm, after several hours of hardcore boozing and lighthearted commentary (big ups to alicia b and her zero bullshit tolerance), we ventured..ok stumbled..outdoors into celeron square to celebrate uconn's just-acquired national championship. this wasn't some quaint affair. we forewent the cheese and crackers for leaping flames and ritualistic chanting. little known fact: the main function of a couch is to be sacrificed to a victory blaze and a keystone light shower is almost as effective as its soapy cousin. also, school property makes excellent kindling and boys with tattoos and/or muscles will never miss an opportunity to deshirt. for those of you with cars on campus, i highly recommend you check their status..pronto.
if you don't go, you don't know..but fortunately i'm here to tell you: we party like we play ball..hard and to win. this, my friends, was clearly a huge W..evident from the glazed-over eyes and frequent whiffs of vomit courtesy of the 8 people who attended class the next morning.
..wondering why i have yet to be tapped to write promotional brochures,
lex
ps..the women won last night. woop woop..but you didn't have to be one of the psychic friends to predict that ish.