i hate cold weather and horny upstairs neighbors.
when i was a wee tyke (same size..but with bangs and a wardrobe comprised of colors you would need sunglasses to look directly at), when the middle of march rolled around and the calendar said spring, mother nature whipped up a nice reprieve from the cold new england winters that had finally come to an end. i remember playing some serious games of red rover and off the wall, clad in only a tank top, shorts, and devious grin. would you mess with that? yeah..i didn't think so.
guess mother nature has been neglecting her meds, shifting her alzheimer's into 5th gear, because it's may and it's still highly likely that if i stepped outside sans long sleeves, a hood, and 7 layers of long undies, i could very well lose a nipple. what GIVES, mama n? can't you tear yourself away from reruns of the golden girls and matlock long enough to hook a sistah up with some sunshine? let's be realistic here. c'mon..i've gone through approximately 12 replacement nipples since monday alone. lucky 13 may just put me over the edge.
so as i mentioned briefly in my last stress filled i'm-gonna-shove-a-pen-through-my-eyeball-if-i-study-anymore entry, the dark cloud called finals has cast its shadow over downtown storrs. while most people are off chillen with homer or pulling an all-nighter in the study lounge whilst hopped up on one too many red bulls, my upstairs neighbors have adopted a different approach to dealing with this untimely season that makes most of us silently hope that our roommate has an unfortunate encounter with a runaway steam roller (4.0 baby..hook that ish up).
enter: the end of semester power fucking marathon in 728.
scenario: it is 2:27am and i have just finished studying for an 8am exam the following morning. i say to myself, "self, you deserve some sleep after relearning an entire semester's worth of lecture notes and powerpoint slides in under 3 hours. get thee to the top bunk." i'm not one to disagree with good advice, so i jumped into my pjs and crawled under the covers for some much needed shut-eye. after tossing and turning for 10 minutes to find my desired comfort groove, my schooled-out body finally starts to drift off to sleepyland. then, it happens. i hear a squeak from above my head. followed by another squeak. and another squeak. and the thumping of a headboard. and an "uhhhhuhhhhhooohhhhHHHHHHHH!" and more squeaks. and more headboard thumping. and then nothing..for about five minutes before the whole damn thing starts over again. i'm still half-expecting two nekid, sweaty bodies to come a-crashin' through my ceiling before the week is over. dag, yo. to whom it may concern, i hope your respective (and i use that term very loosely) reproductive organs pack up and leave for a nice long vacation. they deserve it after all the overtime they've been putting in these days. do i smell a end of year bonus? nope..must be something else. ew.
..living out my remaining nights at the 'conn in a delightful mixture of fear and disgust,
lex
when i was a wee tyke (same size..but with bangs and a wardrobe comprised of colors you would need sunglasses to look directly at), when the middle of march rolled around and the calendar said spring, mother nature whipped up a nice reprieve from the cold new england winters that had finally come to an end. i remember playing some serious games of red rover and off the wall, clad in only a tank top, shorts, and devious grin. would you mess with that? yeah..i didn't think so.
guess mother nature has been neglecting her meds, shifting her alzheimer's into 5th gear, because it's may and it's still highly likely that if i stepped outside sans long sleeves, a hood, and 7 layers of long undies, i could very well lose a nipple. what GIVES, mama n? can't you tear yourself away from reruns of the golden girls and matlock long enough to hook a sistah up with some sunshine? let's be realistic here. c'mon..i've gone through approximately 12 replacement nipples since monday alone. lucky 13 may just put me over the edge.
so as i mentioned briefly in my last stress filled i'm-gonna-shove-a-pen-through-my-eyeball-if-i-study-anymore entry, the dark cloud called finals has cast its shadow over downtown storrs. while most people are off chillen with homer or pulling an all-nighter in the study lounge whilst hopped up on one too many red bulls, my upstairs neighbors have adopted a different approach to dealing with this untimely season that makes most of us silently hope that our roommate has an unfortunate encounter with a runaway steam roller (4.0 baby..hook that ish up).
enter: the end of semester power fucking marathon in 728.
scenario: it is 2:27am and i have just finished studying for an 8am exam the following morning. i say to myself, "self, you deserve some sleep after relearning an entire semester's worth of lecture notes and powerpoint slides in under 3 hours. get thee to the top bunk." i'm not one to disagree with good advice, so i jumped into my pjs and crawled under the covers for some much needed shut-eye. after tossing and turning for 10 minutes to find my desired comfort groove, my schooled-out body finally starts to drift off to sleepyland. then, it happens. i hear a squeak from above my head. followed by another squeak. and another squeak. and the thumping of a headboard. and an "uhhhhuhhhhhooohhhhHHHHHHHH!" and more squeaks. and more headboard thumping. and then nothing..for about five minutes before the whole damn thing starts over again. i'm still half-expecting two nekid, sweaty bodies to come a-crashin' through my ceiling before the week is over. dag, yo. to whom it may concern, i hope your respective (and i use that term very loosely) reproductive organs pack up and leave for a nice long vacation. they deserve it after all the overtime they've been putting in these days. do i smell a end of year bonus? nope..must be something else. ew.
..living out my remaining nights at the 'conn in a delightful mixture of fear and disgust,
lex