historically, all hallows eve is the one night of the year when the disembodied spirits of those who died that year return to earth from beyond the grave to find a living body to possess. all laws of space and time are suspended..allowing the dead to intermingle with the living because this was, of course, their only chance to prosper in the afterlife. hmmmm..sounds a wee bit far-fetched if you ask me (which you clearly did..don't deny). let's try this on for size:
a bunch of nearly nekid uconners got frighteningly F-ed up at alicia's place on friday night. dag, yo..how's THAT for accuracy? the new york times could benefit from my talents for serious.
we had sparkly fairies..we had sexy bunnies. we had sun-kissed hula girls..we had exotic egyptian deities. one lone yankee even came out of world series regret/shame-induced hiding to throw back a few. skanky pop stars, skeezy truckers, and favorite bedtime snuggle buddies were all in attendance in addition to rugged action heroes, catholic sisters, and aquaphobic ladybugs (bullwhips, rosary beads, and inflatable unicorn swimmies included, respectively). though the costumage was more diverse than the clientele at a weekend flea market, the drama was far from real world-esque due in large part to the pleasantly potent (read: semi-lethal if ingested) vat o' jungle juice and continuous games of pong. a prelude to the puke olympics of november 1st? oh you know it was.
yes? you there..did you have a question? was there booty shaking, you ask? oh you poor, POOR child..of course there was. you must have been the torch carrier in the puke olympics..leading your team to victory. but yes, there was bootyshaking..an abundance of it to be exact. thank buddah we got this ish on video..and for just three easy payments of $29.95 it can be yours..por siempre.
despite the security detail on hand, a few bad apples were able to sneak by our army boys (who were most likely admiring their jackboots, dog tags, and camo booty shorts in any and all reflective surfaces) and pilfer us, the adorable and accommodating deluxe hostesses, of two cameras, a cell phone, and full bottle of alcohol. while angymar DID go juan valdez colombian on those amaretto stealing mofos ("mira ese..") and our handy dandy blackmailfest revealed one camera crook, we are still unable to locate the culprit in the case of the missing cell phone. if you happen to be keeping track, this last incident puts us among some of the unhappiest campers you have ever seen since canteen boy. dammit..where is nancy drew when you need her? give me a hot minute to get serious. wait for it. wait for it. ok..ready. i want that phone in my pretty little hand by sundown..else someone's bout to have a little run-in with a two-by-four, bag of prickly pears, and a string of christmas lights. i'll let that certain punishment speak for itself..just know that i'm not playin'. i'll be waiting for your arrival..whenever those boots of yours stop a-shakin'. grrrRRRRRR. ah revenge..it is a dish best served cold (insert maniacal laughter and head toss with whiplash potential HERE).
aside from petty thieves and acute alcohol intoxication, a good time was had by all. my *deepest condolences* go out to those weren't able to make it. you were *sorely missed.*
..noting that recovery..like myself..is a total bitch,
lex
*deepest condolences*: definition = nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
*sorely missed*: definition = i would rather get a lapdance from an aging transvestite with a 5 o'clock shadow and bad teeth than be you right now.
a bunch of nearly nekid uconners got frighteningly F-ed up at alicia's place on friday night. dag, yo..how's THAT for accuracy? the new york times could benefit from my talents for serious.
we had sparkly fairies..we had sexy bunnies. we had sun-kissed hula girls..we had exotic egyptian deities. one lone yankee even came out of world series regret/shame-induced hiding to throw back a few. skanky pop stars, skeezy truckers, and favorite bedtime snuggle buddies were all in attendance in addition to rugged action heroes, catholic sisters, and aquaphobic ladybugs (bullwhips, rosary beads, and inflatable unicorn swimmies included, respectively). though the costumage was more diverse than the clientele at a weekend flea market, the drama was far from real world-esque due in large part to the pleasantly potent (read: semi-lethal if ingested) vat o' jungle juice and continuous games of pong. a prelude to the puke olympics of november 1st? oh you know it was.
yes? you there..did you have a question? was there booty shaking, you ask? oh you poor, POOR child..of course there was. you must have been the torch carrier in the puke olympics..leading your team to victory. but yes, there was bootyshaking..an abundance of it to be exact. thank buddah we got this ish on video..and for just three easy payments of $29.95 it can be yours..por siempre.
despite the security detail on hand, a few bad apples were able to sneak by our army boys (who were most likely admiring their jackboots, dog tags, and camo booty shorts in any and all reflective surfaces) and pilfer us, the adorable and accommodating deluxe hostesses, of two cameras, a cell phone, and full bottle of alcohol. while angymar DID go juan valdez colombian on those amaretto stealing mofos ("mira ese..") and our handy dandy blackmailfest revealed one camera crook, we are still unable to locate the culprit in the case of the missing cell phone. if you happen to be keeping track, this last incident puts us among some of the unhappiest campers you have ever seen since canteen boy. dammit..where is nancy drew when you need her? give me a hot minute to get serious. wait for it. wait for it. ok..ready. i want that phone in my pretty little hand by sundown..else someone's bout to have a little run-in with a two-by-four, bag of prickly pears, and a string of christmas lights. i'll let that certain punishment speak for itself..just know that i'm not playin'. i'll be waiting for your arrival..whenever those boots of yours stop a-shakin'. grrrRRRRRR. ah revenge..it is a dish best served cold (insert maniacal laughter and head toss with whiplash potential HERE).
aside from petty thieves and acute alcohol intoxication, a good time was had by all. my *deepest condolences* go out to those weren't able to make it. you were *sorely missed.*
..noting that recovery..like myself..is a total bitch,
lex
*deepest condolences*: definition = nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!
*sorely missed*: definition = i would rather get a lapdance from an aging transvestite with a 5 o'clock shadow and bad teeth than be you right now.