have you ever had one of those mornings (or afternoons..depending on how much you heart the sleepies) that you roll out of bed, wipe the gunk out of your eyes, pull back the blinds and say to yourself, "sweet sassy molassey, self! today looks absolutely DELICIOUS!" this evaluation signals immediate gussying (or hussying in some cases..you know who you are) up into your favorite warm weather garb for a day of fun and sun. however, for most of us corporate whores, those days are limited. our hectic schedules of office bitchery force us only to revel in the few precious moments of freedom we have going to and coming from the office and on the occasional extended lunch hour. revel with me, won't you?
as i teeter back and forth on the cusp of adulthood, i realize i enjoy these too-few moments waaaaaaaaay the hell more than anything so much harboring a shred of responsibility. while i do fancy ordering myself a drink during a meal and being able to verify my age via non-fake id, sometimes i almost have to stop myself from requesting a chocolate milk so i can blow bubbles through the crazy straw. though i do loathe most children with the fire of a thousand suns, i am still but a child at heart (and size), making going to work on those perfect summer days a cruel and unusual punishment. chinese water torture? sure. the rack? bring it on. desk work on a 90-degree, cloudless day? i would rather kiss a toilet seat.
i try to maximize my non-worky time, opting to truck it from state to congress street instead of switching trains to the uberclose south station. armed with my flip-flops, tousled beachy curls and stylin' shades, i am the portrait of summer..until i set foot inside 286 where i promptly lose a tit as a result of the frigid central air. seeing as though it is indeed august and i have no short-term memory so to speak of, i neglect to take any sort of sleeve or other warming device from home. from 9 to 5, my day is spent not inducing skin cancer on a white sand beach, but instead doomed to shivering in my ergonomic chair, hugging my knees to my sharp-as-glass chest until the vents stop spewing winter. with each file i create or document i scan, my patience and sanity begin packing their bags. i look out the window and see tourists passing by in their obnoxious clothing (apparently a prerequisite for both out-of-towners and middle school skanks-in-training), posing for stupid pictures and laughing gaily. it takes every ounce of strength i have not to huzz a paperweight through the glass to be embedded in their carefree craniums. i am so jealous of their freedom that i would willingly don one of their ridiculous ensembles just to be released from the clutches of my corporate captors.
im trying my best not to get off on a tangent here..so bear with me. you might learn something, tangent-laden or otherwise.
one of my favorite quotes of all time comes from the shawshank redemption. though the subject matter of the film does lack the ha-has i usually crave from my cinema experience, my life is summed up perfectly by red when muses, "some birds aren't meant to be caged..their feathers are just too bright." not only does it explain my string of failed relationships and penchant for not-so-subtle attire, but it pegs exactly where my priorities lie professionwise. i just can't do the office thing. give me my laptop, a lounge chair, and some spf 15 (for safety's sake!) over an overzealous supervisor and timed bathroom breaks any day. though the comp may procure some interesting tan lines, it's something i'm willing to look past if it rids my flesh of its current ghostly hue and my mind of its current state of blah.
unlike some people i know, i do not have my life after college perfectly mapped out. after strutting across the stage in my blue and white next may, what lies ahead is hazy..but by no means bleak. i have found something that i am good at in writing. it's my own personal piece of flair that i wear with pride instead of by force and threats from the management. while it is something that will never make me the kind of cash and security another profession could provide me with, if i did anything else i would be compromising part of who i am. why else would i be sitting here, blatantly disregarding the bossman glaring over my shoulder (ps..hi back there) and the "important" legal task at hand in favor of participating in this brain dump of epic proportions? forget red bull and crystal meth. this is the ish that fuels me. if you don't like it, you're probably already miserable about the path your own life is taking. step away from the desk slowly. you're welcome in advance.
..hoping this next half hour is over quicker than my first awkward sexual encounter,
lex
as i teeter back and forth on the cusp of adulthood, i realize i enjoy these too-few moments waaaaaaaaay the hell more than anything so much harboring a shred of responsibility. while i do fancy ordering myself a drink during a meal and being able to verify my age via non-fake id, sometimes i almost have to stop myself from requesting a chocolate milk so i can blow bubbles through the crazy straw. though i do loathe most children with the fire of a thousand suns, i am still but a child at heart (and size), making going to work on those perfect summer days a cruel and unusual punishment. chinese water torture? sure. the rack? bring it on. desk work on a 90-degree, cloudless day? i would rather kiss a toilet seat.
i try to maximize my non-worky time, opting to truck it from state to congress street instead of switching trains to the uberclose south station. armed with my flip-flops, tousled beachy curls and stylin' shades, i am the portrait of summer..until i set foot inside 286 where i promptly lose a tit as a result of the frigid central air. seeing as though it is indeed august and i have no short-term memory so to speak of, i neglect to take any sort of sleeve or other warming device from home. from 9 to 5, my day is spent not inducing skin cancer on a white sand beach, but instead doomed to shivering in my ergonomic chair, hugging my knees to my sharp-as-glass chest until the vents stop spewing winter. with each file i create or document i scan, my patience and sanity begin packing their bags. i look out the window and see tourists passing by in their obnoxious clothing (apparently a prerequisite for both out-of-towners and middle school skanks-in-training), posing for stupid pictures and laughing gaily. it takes every ounce of strength i have not to huzz a paperweight through the glass to be embedded in their carefree craniums. i am so jealous of their freedom that i would willingly don one of their ridiculous ensembles just to be released from the clutches of my corporate captors.
im trying my best not to get off on a tangent here..so bear with me. you might learn something, tangent-laden or otherwise.
one of my favorite quotes of all time comes from the shawshank redemption. though the subject matter of the film does lack the ha-has i usually crave from my cinema experience, my life is summed up perfectly by red when muses, "some birds aren't meant to be caged..their feathers are just too bright." not only does it explain my string of failed relationships and penchant for not-so-subtle attire, but it pegs exactly where my priorities lie professionwise. i just can't do the office thing. give me my laptop, a lounge chair, and some spf 15 (for safety's sake!) over an overzealous supervisor and timed bathroom breaks any day. though the comp may procure some interesting tan lines, it's something i'm willing to look past if it rids my flesh of its current ghostly hue and my mind of its current state of blah.
unlike some people i know, i do not have my life after college perfectly mapped out. after strutting across the stage in my blue and white next may, what lies ahead is hazy..but by no means bleak. i have found something that i am good at in writing. it's my own personal piece of flair that i wear with pride instead of by force and threats from the management. while it is something that will never make me the kind of cash and security another profession could provide me with, if i did anything else i would be compromising part of who i am. why else would i be sitting here, blatantly disregarding the bossman glaring over my shoulder (ps..hi back there) and the "important" legal task at hand in favor of participating in this brain dump of epic proportions? forget red bull and crystal meth. this is the ish that fuels me. if you don't like it, you're probably already miserable about the path your own life is taking. step away from the desk slowly. you're welcome in advance.
..hoping this next half hour is over quicker than my first awkward sexual encounter,
lex