behold! jesus christ has died for our sins and we are rewarded not only with eternal salvation and deliverance from evil (amen)..but also with candy-coated chocolate eggs and marshmallow peeps from an fluffy, oversized rodent in a pink pastel bowtie! can life get much better? i submit that it CANNOT! thanks j.c. you are truly the ish.
over the past few years, i have realized that celebrating easter with my family is not leisurely by any stretch of the imagination. it is a full-contact sport. scenario: it is a pristine spring day in the ghetto they call revere. the sun is shining and a light, cool breeze is blowing from the west. my extended family is gathered on the deck behind my aunt and uncle's house, enjoying the beautiful (its about damn time!) weather and each other's company. my uncle then announces that the now yearly tradition of the easter egg hunt will commence in approximately 5 minutes.
uh oh.
that seemingly innocent declaration draws the same reaction every year. the kiddies begin scheming with each other, but all the while plotting their individual domination in their devious little minds. the dogs sniff their respective no-no places. the adults jockey for a good position with their cameras, because, hey, capturing your loved ones engage in hand-to-hand combat over cheap plastic is a memory worthy of savoring for always. then, the three words known to cause all hell to break loose bellow from my uncle's throat: "ready. set. go."
a shove-and-slapfest between young and old alike rapidly ensues. scandal! sabotage! snacks! (mmmm..snacks..). it's every man for himself..and trust me..the aftermath ain't pretty. skinned knees, eye gouging, and temper tantrums are all standard features. in-your-face victory squeals/taunts from my 25 year old cousin are available with the deluxe model. mastercard's got nuthin' on my kin. they are PRICELESS.
man..i love the holidays.
..nursing a compound fracture to the fibula and a severely bruised ego,
lex
over the past few years, i have realized that celebrating easter with my family is not leisurely by any stretch of the imagination. it is a full-contact sport. scenario: it is a pristine spring day in the ghetto they call revere. the sun is shining and a light, cool breeze is blowing from the west. my extended family is gathered on the deck behind my aunt and uncle's house, enjoying the beautiful (its about damn time!) weather and each other's company. my uncle then announces that the now yearly tradition of the easter egg hunt will commence in approximately 5 minutes.
uh oh.
that seemingly innocent declaration draws the same reaction every year. the kiddies begin scheming with each other, but all the while plotting their individual domination in their devious little minds. the dogs sniff their respective no-no places. the adults jockey for a good position with their cameras, because, hey, capturing your loved ones engage in hand-to-hand combat over cheap plastic is a memory worthy of savoring for always. then, the three words known to cause all hell to break loose bellow from my uncle's throat: "ready. set. go."
a shove-and-slapfest between young and old alike rapidly ensues. scandal! sabotage! snacks! (mmmm..snacks..). it's every man for himself..and trust me..the aftermath ain't pretty. skinned knees, eye gouging, and temper tantrums are all standard features. in-your-face victory squeals/taunts from my 25 year old cousin are available with the deluxe model. mastercard's got nuthin' on my kin. they are PRICELESS.
man..i love the holidays.
..nursing a compound fracture to the fibula and a severely bruised ego,
lex